nospintravel

Going All The Way

On November 13th I'll be reporting from Carnival Magic.

First a Gala Dinner to welcome Magic to Galveston, then 6 days to Mexico.

Late January it will be a second look at Holland America's Nieuw Amsterdam.

Fast forward to April, and it's through the Canal from Hollywood to New York on Crystal's newly refurbished Serenity.

BUT FIRST

My new book; an inside look at two world cruises. The good, the bad, and the, well, strange. Available at all eBook sites

I took my first cruise from Los Angeles, through the Panama Canal, and around the Caribbean. The cruise ship was a small Greek ship called the Jason, but I must tell you, cruising then was entirely different than today. The cruise staff did most of the entertaining, most of the bands on ships had an accordion player, and customer service was a bit lax.

My cabin had a bunk on each wall with safety straps to keep you in bed in case of rough weather. The portholes had wooden covers that could be screwed on to keep that rough water out of the cabin. When I complained about the air conditioning in my cabin not working, the ship sent an engineer to check it out. A sturdy Greek woman with a hint of mustache appeared in full uniform. She had no command of English, and Greek was, well, Greek to me. Fortunately, we didn’t need much communication to get the job done. I held my hand to the vent and said, “Is warm!” She put her hand to the vent and said, “Is cold!” And that was that. As Aristotle once said, “It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it.” Whatever.

As the Jason exited the canal into the Caribbean, we were pounded by some very rough seas, and she bounced around enough so that those straps and porthole covers came into play. I sat in the center of the ship on the Promenade deck, and, as advised, kept my eyes on the horizon. I wasn’t sick, but neither was I feeling well, and worse, I was hungry. They told us to eat dry chicken sandwiches which for some reason might stay in place after swallowed. On the Jason, everything was ordered from a desk just inside and off the main deck. I went up to the crewman on desk duty and asked for a dry chicken sandwich. He looked at me, said, “Please wait a moment.” He then opened a drawer, and from a height of about three feet, put most, if not all, of his stomach in the drawer. I passed on the sandwich.

That experience aside, a big attraction of cruising is the food. And there is lots, and lots of good food. With all that largess waiting, a good many passengers are wary of eating too much and gaining weight. I sat with one woman who looked at the menu and asked me what “grouper” was. I told her it was a whitefish that sometimes got as big as three hundred pounds. “Oh,” she said, “I’m really not that hungry.” Another tablemate ate a huge plate of pasta. After she finished, she was upset with the waiter. “I told him,” she said, “to give me a small portion.” “Well”, I countered, “there was a small portion in there.”

Today’s cruise guest has access to food 24 hours a day. Room service is always prompt, and the air conditioner will be adjusted to your liking. Nevertheless, no matter how luxurious the ships, most people who cruise share one single desire. One day, they want to cruise around the world!

I have been twice blessed in that regard, and what you are about to read is a diary of both of those blessings. Some of what I wrote will be a bit dated. For instance, all cruise ships now have access to the Internet operating 24 hours a day. Today’s passengers don’t have to seek out an Internet café at every port, and on a world cruise there are a lot of ports. But, you know, I think they’re missing something; that chance to interact with the locals and other travelers.

So hop aboard, have some laughs, and watch out for that reef off Egypt

Carnival Splendor Sails Again

It was unexpected, and as it turns out, unprecedented. One of Splendor’s diesel generators caught fire and within seconds the heat melted the above wiring thought safe, behind heavy insulation. All electrical power . . .  gone. Ship motionless. 3,299 passengers and 1,167 crew members without air conditioning, hot food. A diesel generator catching fire was the last thing any sailor would expect. A special committee has been formed to try to find out how something like this could happen, and how to make sure it never happens again. The committee has air conditioning. Major repairs were done in SFO. Parts had to be manufactured. A 218,000 lb. generator, two 106,000 alternators, came by plane. Added to that, believe it or not, 110 MILES of electrical cable was installed. More than enough to get a green car to your job and back. Workers were at it 24 hours a day for three months, trying to get Splendor back in service. Well, she’s back. Splendor sails roundtrip to the Mexican Riviera visiting Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan, and Cabo San Lucas. Oops, for the moment let’s make that two days in Cabo and none in Mazatlan. Just after Splendor left for the Riviera, a shooting occurred in the Gold Zone shopping district. Although no tourist was involved, the Gold Zone is a magnet for tourists. Great beaches, first-class hotels, good restaurants, and everyone speaks English. Jewelry shops are omnipresent. I had a lovely ring made there, but have second thoughts about going again. Nevertheless, the spectacular bargains in silver have my wife thinking about getting  a flack vest for our next trip. Will Carnival decide to visit Mazatlan again? No se. But visit or not there is nothing like a Carnival ship. Splendor is aptly named. Prior to her sailing, I had a dinner in one of her “standard” restaurants. Raves from the table. For most it was the best pasta carbonarra ever ingested. I had roast duck breast . . . unsurpassed. And the soup on any Carnival ship gets a top slurp award. Not to mention the hot lava chocolate fudge cake! Even if Splendor just roamed around at sea, you would be getting the best value afloat. Just think how much you’ll save so you’ll be able to frolic at Senor Frogs.

Crystal Symphony 2010 Puerto Vallarta

For years Puerto Vallarta was a sleepy little village, and grew at an easy pace. Then John Huston showed up with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. The growth then reminded me of the way I like eggs; over easy. Now it reminds me of Miami. Condos are popping up fertilized by Taylor and Burton, who, while they are no longer here, started it all. One of my favorite stories about the two stars is about the home they had (now a simple museum) on one side of the street and the home on the other side which was mostly converted into pool. Burton put up a high wall to keep prying paparazzi at bay. BUT, they had to cross the street to get that swim. Cameras ready 24 hours a day, the Canon creeps kept clicking away. What to do?? Mildly inebriated, but with tons of pesos, Richard built a bridge over the street. Now, no photos unless from a helicopter. It’s a treat to look out at the lovely and gracefully ageing city. Oops, wrong side of the ship. Oops that side doesn’t work either. And more going up…manana. The only place now left with a fading shadow of the way “lo estaba”, is old town in the northern section. It’s worth the cab ride. We are now heading back to Los Angeles with monster storms awaiting us. Those who now join Symphony for her 14 day roundtrip to Hawaii can put their umbrellas away. Ahead of Christmas Eve, I have to plug up my chimney. Afraid of rain? Nope, it’s so this dude doesn’t slide down.

Crystal Symphony 2010 Topolobampo

We are in Topolobampo. The reason we made this inaugural stop is to so those who want to transit the Copper Canyon by train can put another notch in their “I’ve been everywhere” belt. It’s almost an 18 hour trip. A 4 hour round trip bus transfer added to an 11 hour round trip train ride with a buffet lunch at the top and dinner on the train heading home. I hope it doesn’t rain. To me, more fascinating than Copper Canyon, are the indigenous Tarahumara, some of whom still live in the canyon in caves, beneath rock outcroppings on cliffs, or in unpretentious cabins. These settlements are separated by harsh terrain. Today there are cell phones and texting, but before these tech goodies the only way villages could communicate was by messenger. The Taramumara could literally run for days and I’m told it wasn’t unusual for one of these dudes to run 435 miles in one go. I find that hard to believe, but I understand that the way Tarahumara would hunt their prey was to chase them until their quarry quit, exhausted. Think how green it would be to hire them to deliver pizza. By the way, the rumor that their food staple was snails is yet to be confirmed. Off in the distance was a town, maybe Topo, maybe not, but I stayed on the ship to assess some of the refurbs on Symphony. After 40 days of dry dock in Boston, a new Symphony surfaced. The Neptune pool disappeared and a lovely and comfortable lounging deck took its place. The Jacuzzis were melded into one big one. That’s not me. I got in later, but didn’t know how to make it bubble. (The controls are in the end of the rectangle.) Be aware it is hot. I love the couches and 180 degree chairs. Two women were in the Chair next to me and a bee that had been buzzing around my Joop shaving cologne decided their suntan oil was a better bet. I have never seen two bathing suited adults jump, and squeal, and leap, and duck, and hand flap with such abandon during their seat to pool scurry. The Lido has been pushed out and some of the outdoor space was taken. The tables left are set to accommodate four. I have adopted a “please sir” face as I carry my plate and slowly walk amongst the twos. More often than not I’m invited to sit and join them. I’ve met some nice people. My cabin is on Penthouse Deck 10. All penthouse cabins have been beautifully redone; change of layout, carpet, bathroom, etc. Mine is kept perfectly by Jessica from Chile. My dining room steward is Jose; wine steward Ana. They make this a fun table and ease the boredom of eating alone. In the evening, Nick Lewin, a wonderful sleight of hand magician and maybe the only magician funny enough to make the hoary three ropes into one entertaining, gave us a peek into the mind of a magician. As his time on stage came close to ending, he checked his watch to see how much longer he had to go. With a HUGE effort I swallowed the urge to yell, *That’s my watch.” You see he had disappeared someone’s watch when he did his major show. Oh well. Tomorrow Loreto and another production show, “The Envelope Please”. For the best in cruising it's AvidCruiser.com

Crystal Symphony 2010 Loreto

I stayed on the ship. Years ago my wife and I vacationed in Loreto. Some paved streets, more not, and very few tourists. The beach was great, hotel good, and food perfect. One thing that comes close to standing out in my mind was the airline didn’t make advance seat reservations. If there were more passengers than seats, well tomorrow’s another day. The practice was to hire someone to wait in line for you on the day of the flight. I don’t remember the cost of this, but it was cheaper than another night at the hotel. So why didn’t I go ashore? I didn’t want to replace the fond memory of Loreto for the two newly married with whatever is now “up to date”. Staying aboard Symphony is certainly not a chore. The botoxed Bistro is a favorite place of many to grab coffees, teas, and goodies. The bar has been circularized (I can’t believe that’s a word”. Ubiquitously on display are Christmas reminders. The computer center, the cheese, and even the ginger bowl. This place must be scary around Halloween. Each night Teodor brings canapés at around 4:45 PM. Then it’s to dinner at 6:15. I love the dining room’s “first plates” that reflect the food scene of the night. This was French night. Actually, I wasn’t very hungry and I found by not eating, my table attracted all kinds of men in tuxedos asking about the food, did I want something else, etc. None could accept “I’m not very hungry.” (This is a cruise ship, idiot, everyone’s ready to eat all the time.) In the evening, the Crystal Society members were invited to cocktails and dancing in the Starlight Club. The Crystal Society is Crystal’s guest loyalty program. Some of the people at this party have cruised Crystal since the Harmony first went to sea years ago. One even longer than that. The production show yet again was hugely entertaining. The audience, in formal wear, was a bit reserved, applauding, but absolutely no vocalizing except, you guessed it, from me. Some of the dance numbers combined acrobatics; splits, cartwheels, leaps and in air somersaults; all performed with poise and style. So yes, I shouted out. YES! Tomorrow Mazatlan. (For the best in cruise news go to www.avidcruiser.com)

Crystal Symphony 2010 La Paz

Mea culpa, lo siento, my bad. Michael of Cruiseholidays.com straightened me out about Crystal and the Mexican Riviera. How I got confused about the coming Symphony schedule, I have no idea. When Crystal execs told me this was their final Mex Riv cruise, I thought they meant FINAL, not final until next time. I do know that Crystal is excited about the upcoming Pacific Coast cruises, but excitement aside, Symphony, contrary to what I thought, will be heading to the Mexican Riviera once again: 3/31/2011, 10 days Round-trip Los Angeles 11/27/2011, 7 days Round-trip Los Angeles 12/11/2011, 10 days Round-trip Los Angeles Thanks Michael for your info. We are in La Paz, “Baja’s Hot Spot”. Who knew? With 250,000 people, this is Baja’s second largest city. La Paz used to be known as the “City of Pearls”. Unfortunately, all the oysters are long gone. But first things first. Into each life some detergent will fall and it was laundry time for me. It is really neat to have a free place to do washable clothes. But, be sure and read the directions on the washers and dryers as they don’t work as you might expect. Well, don’t pay too close attention. La Paz, although on the ocean, depends on this port which is about a 30 minute drive to the city. We were serenaded on the way to the free shuttle. As you drive to La Paz, be sure to sit on the right side of the bus. That’s where you’ll see most of the interesting surroundings. This area is booming, or trying to boom. Gary Player designed a golf course featured as part of a condo complex. Lowest price, $750,000 USD. There are availabilities. A bit further on is a non-completed building with one condo as a model home. On a hill above it all, new million dollar plus homes. There are availabilities. The city itself is, well a city. As I was walking, an armed soldier standing in the back of an unmarked pickup truck passed by. I have no idea what his assignment was. Maybe he was being disciplined. Just a thought as I walked the shopping area. If T-shirts suddenly disappeared, hundreds of stores all over the world would be empty. The center of the Malecon or beach “walk” features a tall Christmas tree, but none I’ve seen so far can compare with the Symphony tree. The walk itself goes for miles in each direction and is great for walking or bike riding. Along the way are the most attractive trash barrels anywhere. For me, no matter what’s on shore, there is nothing nicer than getting back to the boat. (OK, it’s ship, but I liked the alliteration.) The night was full. Early in the evening a cocktail party in the Captain’s quarters which got me in the perfect mood for dinner in Prego. We had a table for 5, excellent service and superb food. There is no extra charge for this alternate restaurant, but Crystal suggests a gratuity of $7.00 per person. How they came up with $7.00 I have no clue, but I can imagine the “tip” meeting at the long table. “How about $5.00?” “I say $7.00.” “Let’s meet in the middle at $6.00.” “I say $7.00 and I’m the CEO!!!!!” “$7.00 it is, let’s go to lunch.” From dinner to the show. The production was based on Route 66. Great! Brett Bullock , the head of entertainment for Crystal Cruises, has done it again. In all the years of cruising, this is only the third time I’ve looked forward to the next show. I think we should all send Brett $7.00. Tomorrow Topolobampo.

Crystal Sympnony 2010 Cabo San Lucas

Our first stop on this 10 day Mexican Riviera Cruise was Cabo San Lucas. Many people stayed on board.  They were the smart ones. I used to love Cabo San Lucas. A few visits later, I liked Cabo San Lucas. Today I joined Crystal and have no plans to come again. Cabo has a construction jones. Stuff pops up with no particular guidelines, and thus, like a weed, comes the ugliest building in North America. The immediate port area is jammed with merchants pushing tours, taxis, hats, and blowing whistles. Most tourists bustle by. Not too long ago  there was a definite presence of Army personnel, AK 47’s at the ready. Today only two military guards were visible, and they were Navy. Never mind,  Christmas is coming to Cabo. Christmas is also coming to Symphony. Everywhere you look, some effigy representing the season stares back. Chanukah wasn’t ignored, but it has past. So my question is, when Christmas is over, do we continue to say Merry Christmas? The food in the main dining room is delicious. The wait staff efficient, and my waiter, Jose, each night has a recommendation for the main dish. He never misses. As well as the main dining room, we have Prego, Silk Road, and Sushi, or one can order from the main menu comfortably tucked away in their cabin. Surprise for sure, there is no evening meal served in the Lido. This is unusual for any cruise ship. We had a couple of “meet and greets”. Cruise Critic is a web site that has roll calls for cruisers sailing on the same ship. There is a get together and the ship provides cocktails and canapés. The Captain and sundry officers usually stop by. Mostly, we all say hello and then goodbye and that’s kind of it. Later, in the evening, single and unaccompanied guests were invited to a cocktail party to get together with the Cruise Director (an old friend), the Ambassador Hosts (they dance with single ladies), and members of the Crystal Ensemble of Singers and Dancers (the production show performers). That last got my attention. I mostly avoid cruise ship shows as they are kind of goofy, but this group was outstanding. They got a standing ovation…well that was actually me standing and applauding. Then, some others got to their feet, but they were leaving. Now was my chance to meet the group (girls) in person and give them my accolades. We eagerly waited for the performers. Well, one showed up, but we didn’t talk. Adios Cabo San Lucas.

Crystal Symphony 2010

This is the last time Crystal will visit the Mexican Riviera, at least for the foreseeable future. Last, but not least, as this is a 10 day cruise and includes ports in the Sea of Cortez. Fifteen years ago, my wife, Michael, and I sailed on Symphony’s inaugural out of New York to Los Angeles. I remember walking onto the ship and seeing the rain of water next to the sculpture. That is about the only setting that I still recognize. This ship has changed quite a bit since 1995 (as have I), and the “new” Symphony is stunning. More about specific changes will come later. My wife and I have made the trip to the LA Cruiseport numerous times. For some reason this time I put the place name in our navigation system. Did I put Cruiseport? No. Did I put Port of Los Angeles? Yes. OMG!!! I won’t go into the near dissolve of my marriage, but I kept telling Michael to “go left, go right, NO!! I said right”. You get the picture. We ended in a strange area, no ship in sight, lots of oil tanks, and a building. The Port of Los Angeles. Nice office. From that point it was a nightmare. We kept trying to get back to the freeway, navigation system be damned. Not good, the city of something was having a parade, and each turn we took, after a few blocks, had floats, police, barriers, etc. Do you know how hard it is to hear marching band music with your wife screaming? At last the ship. Although I had left home in plenty of time, the long trip ate that up. I was the last to board. Once on Symphony, the stress faded. I’m on Penthouse Deck in a lovely and spacious stateroom. Bags arrived quickly, and I unpacked. Oops, somehow I totally forgot to bring a razor and shaving lotion. Forgetting the razor was a $15 mistake. If this happens to you, I suggest buying in port rather than on board. Cologne was a different issue. Faced with a penny candy smell shelf, I went by label alone. I have a bit of a sinus problem and am aroma impaired. God knows what the result of a squirt of Joop is, but it looks cool on the bathroom shelf. My butler, Teodor, introduced himself. He’s from the UK and has an accent that completely eludes translation. And he speaks rapidly! It’s like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. He asked me something, and without a clue as to what he said, I um-hummed yes. Ten minutes later a bottle of vodka appeared. Dinner was sushi. Nobu is a famous sushi creator and oversees preparations. I heartily recommend the “house special”. Be careful of the wasabi. It has twice the zing of any I’ve had ashore. The TV has “cable” channels, so Sunday night football closed the curtain for me. A note about the TV; its flat screen faces directly forward and thus is difficult to see from the bed. Pull it straight out, do some twisting, and line of sight is from pillow to screen. Tomorrow a look at the ship, but let me leave you with this. President Obama has the Bush tax problem. Enough already!

Transition Sojourn to Eclipse

band welcomed us to Pier 4. More than a few ships were in port, which surprised me as it was Monday. Turns out that there are more airline seats available on Mondays, and the cruise lines have adjusted. Debarking Sojourn was a breeze. I was first off the ship, bags were organized on the pier, and immigration was simple and speedy. I had a car reserved to take me from Port Everglades, to the Miami Cruise Terminal. My instruction sheet issued to me by the car service instructed me to dial a specific 800 number to dispatch the limo from the holding area to the pick up lanes. As you may remember, my cell phone was resting comfortably at home. I had to use a payphone to make the call. I had two, and only two, precious quarters in my pocket. Leaving the terminal building, there were two phones, on my immediate left; one pay, and one a free courtesy phone. Yay for Pier 4. The quarters stayed in my pocket and I followed the phone instructions; dial 9, then the number. I did. Beep, beep, you’ve dialed a non functioning number, or words to that effect. I tried again; same recording. Quarters out and into the pay phone. I got the same recording, AND the phone kept one quarter, while spitting the other out. Now what? The number to get my car didn’t work, and I had no idea how to make any of this happen. I sought out a Celebrity official who was there to help departing passengers. He took out his cell to try the mystery number. Oh, but wait a minute, he didn’t have his glasses. I helped him press the buttons, and hallelujah, a voice answered. My now partner, besides not being able to see, couldn’t hear. I was handed the phone, and indeed it was dispatch. I told ‘dispatch” that I was ready to go. “Where are you?” “Terminal 4” “I can’t hear you.” “TERMINAL 4!!!!!” “What is on your left?’ “The boat.” “What are you standing next to?” “A sign that says ‘pick up area’.” “Look to your right.” I actually thought I was hallucinating, but grudgingly looked to my right. And there, my friends, was my limo driver waving a sign that was too far away to read. He, being thoughtful, hadn’t bothered to wait in the holding area. Off to Miami. Driver Reuben had a nearly indecipherable accent, and was giving me a tour as we went South. I did a lot of um humming. We arrived at the Eclipse terminal. Since this was a two day trip, no baggage handlers were available. I was rolling a big suitcase and a carry on. When I got to security, I showed my passport plus my invitation to board. The invitation, for some reason wasn’t enough to get me in. They passed me on to a special desk. The lady there needed my cabin number. Well, I didn’t have that, so she looked for my name on a list. There were well over a thousand names on the list, not in alphabetical order, but listed by cabin number. I know you’re, way ahead of me, but I’ll say it anyway. My name was on the last page. I was cleared and headed up to the boarding area. A “sentry” was in charge of the early boarding. I explained to him that I was to attend the press conference. He pointed to his lapel and said you need a purple button. After back and forth about my missing purple button, some Celebrity officials came by and said that there is no problem, but we had to wait until 10:30 to board. I put my luggage in a corner and sat to wait. After a bit, I needed to use the mens' room. To get there, I had to pass through final security where bags and people are x-rayed. The mens' room was down a hall that led to final check in. When I came back and tried to go through reverse security, they called a port of Miami officer to deal with me. Apparently while I was, well you know, boarding had started. Suddenly my bags were all alone. Alert! Alert! The unaccompanied baggage alarmed all, and it was put through the screener without me. I left the shaking heads and went to media check in. Standing next to me was someone who seemed to know me, and I vented a bit to him about how much better I thought Port Everglades was for cruise passengers. He didn’t agree. All being in order, I received my room card. Next, to the escalator to board. Nope. “We are not yet boarding, but you can sit here.” As I sat the man I spoke to earlier about the difference between Port Everglades and Miami, came by on his way up the escalator and said that I needed a “Guest” sticker. Back to check in. Sticker now pasted on my shirt, it was up the escalator I went. At last, I thought, all hurdles have been jumped, and I’m on the ship. Talking about hurdles, I ran the low hurdles in high school and in a meet brushed the top of the 4th hurdle. It had been set up backwards and didn’t fold as it should have. I ended up face first in the gravel track. I went up the ramp and presented my room card to on-deck security. They inserted it. It didn’t work. The machine hummed then burped. Second try, same result. The two security guards then opened the machine and pulled on some connections. Machine closed, card inserted, humming and burping. The 4th hurdle? They let me on, but said to go to Guest Services. Not a chance! I was on and headed to the press conference. And there, ladies and gentlemen, I saw the man I had talked to about my preference for Port Everglades. He was on the panel representing the Port of Miami. Coming up, a look at Celebrity Eclipse.

12 Days Of Cruisemas Last Day

By Geoff Edwards This is the last day of this voyage and also the last of nine sea days. If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I’ve been traveling alone. After awhile, my mind kind of numbed out. That is why I got interested in egg yolks. The eggs from Vons in Santa Clarita have pale yellow yolks. The eggs on Sojourn are red. Why is that? Well, no one on the ship seems to know and could care less. The closest I came to an answer was from a gal from Jamaica who said it was the chickens. Well, I suppose so, they come first. I am now in the midst of packing. Ordinarily, this is not a problem, but I am going to be on the Celebrity Eclipse for two days and need access to clothes. There won’t be any baggage handlers for the Eclipse doings, and they advised to only bring carry-on. Even the world’s strongest man would hesitate to call my 12 days of luggage “carry-on”. The food on Sojourn defines gourmet. Each night at The Restaurant has been a consuming challenge. It was hard to decide what not to eat as all the entrees were tempting. Even the vegetarian dishes were out of the ordinary. I do wish that I could have been at the meeting where they named The Restaurant. I am sure that a dozen designations were brought up and turned down. Then, folks, someone said how about calling it The Restaurant? Two to one it was the boss, and that’s why no one quarreled with that uncomplicated appellation. So what can Celebrity’s Eclipse offer that will compete in the food category.? Well, how about if your food is upside down? Check out my article on Qsine. Tomorrow off to Miami, then on Wednesday, American Airlines puts a period to this excursion. In December it will Crystal Symphony’s last Mexican Riviera cruise. and if food is still the subject, Michael and I will spend more than one dinner at the sushi bar. Five dollars will buy you all you can eat. Sayonara.